Marshmallows and Rights
by Padfoot Reincarnated
Summary: The Chosen, ReuvenDanny slash. Danny has been learning some new things at Colombia and Reuven can't quite bring himself to object.


**Okay, guys. Danny/Reuven for The Chosen by** **Chaim Potok. After I read this, the Danny/Reuven undertones were unbelieveably strong. Everyone in class agreed; we had to act out the scene where Danny announces he won't go through with his arranged marriage. It goes on for quite a while about hw he glances at Reuven while he says it. _You can't ignore it_. It's _here_. And yet, I couldn't find a single story, not even on LJ. So, I wrote one of my own. No Chosen category, so it's going in Misc. Books. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. Read and review!**

After Danny started attending Columbia, we were rarely able to see him. He still lived close enough that he was able to take a train back home most weekends, but he often spent the Sabbath with his father and brother. I, meanwhile, was busy with working for my smicha. It was far less difficult than I had anticipated, as I had already learned the Talmud and most of the Rishonim and Acharonim as well as I would be required to.

I was surprised at how much I missed him. After all, I had gone two years without speaking to him while we were in college. And yet now, it was torture to go even two weeks without seeing his face.

He called often, anyway, and when we did get to see each other, we spent long hours talking at a time. He told me that his brother was struggling with his Talmud, and that his father was frustrated with both of them. He told me that he felt guilty, sometimes, but he didn't act that way—most of the time his eyes were lit up with happiness as he rambled on about some psychological theory or another. He had passed me so long ago that I understood little of what was said, but I was always grateful to hear his voice.

And so I was overjoyed when he showed up at my house on a Monday afternoon, two weeks into November, at about two-o'-clock, and asked if he could come in.

"Danny!" I said, surprised, "What are you doing here?"

He grinned at me. "Are you going to let me in?" he asked.

I opened the door wider and smiled back. "Of course," I said, and snapped it closed as he made his way for the door, "As soon as you tell me why you're here in the middle of the day."

"Aren't you happy to see me?" he asked, hurt, "I can leave if you're busy."

"Of course I'm happy to see you, you silly apikoris," I said, opening the door again and letting him slip inside, "I'm just surprised, that's all,"

"Oh," he said. Relief was evident in his voice, and yet he still seemed tense. I chose not to comment on it—he'd been like this the last time I'd seen him, and he had put it down to stress over school. "My professor had to attend a conference. Classes are canceled."

I nodded and led him into the kitchen. He sat down at the table and fiddled with the short stubs of hair where his earlocks used to be. He had cut them only about a month earlier. I still was unused to his new, clean-shaven face.

"How have you been doing, Reuven?" he asked, "Is your father well?"

"We're both alright," I said, pulling a box of hot cocoa out of the cupboard and putting a pan on the stove, "He had a cold, and I was afraid it would turn into flu. But he went to the doctor; and he's alright now."

Danny nodded and stared intently at his hands. "That's good," he said, "I'm glad."

I turned from the stove and looked at him carefully. "Is everything okay, Danny?" I asked.

He bit his lip. "No," he said finally, "I don't think so."

I turned the heat down under the cocoa and went to sit beside him. His shoulders were hunched and his hands were clasped tightly on top of the table. "What's wrong?" I asked, touching his shoulder, "Is it your father?"

He looked at me tightly. "No," he said, "My father is fine. I'd rather not talk about it, actually."

I shrugged and went back to the stove. "Alright," said, "But if you change your mind, you can always talk to me. I wouldn't tell anyone. Not even my father, if you wanted."

"I know," he said. We continued in silence for several minutes, until a timer went off that meant the cocoa was done.

"Do you want marshmallows?" I asked.

"Yeah, alright," he accepted.

I put a few marshmallows in each of our cups, poured coca over them, and sat across from Danny at the table. My hands were cold, and I wrapped them around the hot mug to keep them warm.

I took a long sip, and felt Danny staring at me as I drank. I put my mug down and wiped the back of my hand across my mouth. "What?" I asked blankly, and he leaned across the table and kissed me.

He had kissed me before of course, but not like this. Before he had kissed me on the cheek, a sign of love for me as a brother. Now he pressed my lips to mine. He was gentle, and his lips were soft against mine, but it was clearly the kind of kiss that was usually intended for a woman. Not that I knew much about that.

My eyes blinked open in surprise, and I pulled away before I knew what I was doing. Danny's face was bright red. "I should probably go," he mumbled under his breath, and stood.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him back into his seat. "No," I said, "You just got here, and besides, you have to explain what…_that _was."

He sat back down, trembling, and tugged his hand away. "Nothing," he said, "Let's just call it a mistake, and forget it."

I was surprised at how disappointed I was. I knew that my religion strictly prohibited relationships like…_this _between men, but all the same, Danny's lips were soft against mine...and he really had always been beautiful. He was my best friend, and I loved him unconditionally. We had become, as my father had said so long ago, one soul in two bodies.

I didn't _want _to just "forget it."

"No," I said firmly, grabbing Danny's hand so he couldn't leave. "I want to know."

He hesitated and tilted his head. "Are you angry with me?" he asked quietly. "If you are, I understand."

I hesitated as well, but answered, "No."

A feeling of intense relief washed across his face. "Good," he said, and then tensed up again. "Are you going to tell my father?"

My nose wrinkled at the thought of telling Reb Saunders anything, let alone this. "Of course not. I promised, right?"

He nodded, and began twiddling his thumbs. I waited patiently as he opened his mouth several times, trying to speak. Finally, he said, "I know that the Torah says that this…sort of thing is wrong, but at Columbia…Well, there are some people who don't think it's all that bad. Most people don't like it much, of course—to say the least. But—well, it's happening anyway, and it's sort of getting accepted. And I…Reuven, you're my best friend. But I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I didn't mean to make things awkward. And I really do want to leave now. Please let me leave."

I considered briefly, leaned in, and kissed him. He kissed me back, and it felt nice. His lips tasted like cranberries and cocoa, and his tongue lightly rubbed at the corner of my mouth. His glasses pressed against mine, and I wanted to be closer to him, to touch every bit of him. It was safe, and it was the most terrifying thing I had ever done.

I was enjoying myself, perhaps more than I should have. I was reluctant, this time, as I again pulled my lips away from Danny's.

His eyes were wide as he stared at me, and a small smile was beginning at the corners of his mouth.

"Danny," I said, "I don't know. I think...I think I know how you feel. But if am to become a rabbi, I have to set a good example for my people. And..."

"A good example probably doesn't involve kissing your best friend," he said, his head drooping and his eyes glinting with tears.

"No," I said quietly, "It probably doesn't."

He pushed his chair away from the table and stood up. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice shallow, "It was selfish of me to do anything. I won't do it again. And I'll see you this weekend, okay?"

He began striding for the door. I felt my chest clench up a little at the way he walked. He was clearly devastated. He was bent over, and his arms clung to his sides. His head was bowed, and his hands were clenched.

I felt his pain as clearly as if it were my own. My throat ached for him.

I have always been more emotional than Danny.

I made my decision as he reached the door. Before his hand reached the knob, I has beside him, and my hand was on his shoulder. I put my face beside his. "I think it might be worth it," I said.

He slowly turned to face me, his round eyes blinking. "What?" he asked blankly.

"I think it's worth it," I said, more sure of myself this time. "To give up being a rabbi. To be with you."

"Reuven--"

"I always have math to fall back on," I said. I touched the side of his face, running my index finger along his cheekbone and tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. It was an entirely new sensation, and I was scared that I would do something wrong. I had no way of knowing, after all. All I could say for sure was that I enjoyed the feeling of his warm skin under my fingertips.

He shivered, and a whimpering moan escaped his lips. His eyes fluttered shut. "Reuven," he said, "I can't ask you for this. I have no right."

"But I have the right to give it to you," I said firmly. He nodded and hesitantly leaned forward. When he was about an inch away and it became clear he wasn't going to come any closer, I kissed him myself.

And this time, neither of us pulled away.

**Will trade chocolate for reviews!**


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